New Music

2:22am: The ups and downs on the rollercoaster of life.
Which, as on a real roller coaster, all seem to lead rapidly downhill at the moment.

Well, M is holding up, but the battery of tests and opinions continues. She's had a several hour MRI of her entire central nervous system (which came back clean, thankfully) and a similarly lengthy PET scan. Dr. Hu (pronounced who) has sent her to a new oncologist, Dr. Linette, since he has little experience with recurring cancers. Another physician, whom my mother calls Dr. God because of his classically scaled ego, has come onto the case, seemingly without invitation. (He was consulted several years ago, when M was initially undergoing treatment, but was never officially her physician. Turns out he's the transplant oncologist that would be in charge of her treatment if she chooses to go the route of the stem cell harvest, high dose chemotherapy, and bone marrow re-transplant. It has been suggested that further radiation may not be possible. (Though I am a bit confused as to who said precisely what.) So this may be the only option. Naturally, further information and additional opinions are being sought. Thank you for your patience and continued well wishes.

10:22am: My sister's struggle
Most of you likely already know of my sister's struggle with brain cancer, but for those that don't I'll give you a short recap (an apt term where brain cancer is concerned, no?):

In November of 2003 my sister was diagnosed with a type of stem cell cancer known as medullablastoma. It's usually associated with children, typically occurring in patients less than ten years of age. Miriam was 27 when she was diagnosed. Her neurosurgeon, who has seen quite a lot of these things, had never before seen a case in an adult.

Things were made somewhat more hopeful by the susceptibility of the cancer to radiation. Well, they operated (twice), she went through quite a lot of radiation, and a good bit of chemotherapy, though one promising procedure was lost to the insurance company shuffle. (If you haven't danced this obscure relative to musical chairs, where the people left standing frequently loose more than just a game, then I would certainly recommend against it.)

Things were beaten into submission for four years. Then earlier this month her MRI showed a new abnormal growth of some type. She's already undergone surgery to remove as much of the growth as possible. Now she's bracing for more chemotherapy and possibly other therapies or procedures. I'll try to keep you posted as things develop.

Several people have expressed support elsewhere, through kethlenda's journal. I thank you all. While I am not myself religious my sister and her family are, and all support, prayers, candles, and assorted warm thoughts are certainly appreciated. Best to all, and thank you for your patience, and your ear.

Sincerely,
David

1:53am: I drink to you
My landlay died today. That’s not quite true, actually. In all probability, she died several days ago or more, but I discovered it this evening. This has precipitated several events. First, I find myself wishing I had done more. I wish I’d acted sooner. I wish I’d talked to her more often. I wish I knew more of her stories. And wishes can neither breathe nor swim, and thus they do me no good. So I move on to the memories and the drinking. I remember her patience, her tolerance, her love. I remember her hobbies and those that she herself loved. And I drink to her memory. And of course I find myself wondering why it is that we drink to the dead.

In the memory of Dottie, my dearly departed landlord I drink to you my living friends and lovers. I drink to you Kelly, my beloved partner in this brief span of artistic endeavor. I drink to you Ronald and you Sandra who reared me and gave me all that I am and all that I know. I drink to you Milton and you Juanita who sacrificed so much to preserve my freedom, even though you likely agree with few of my decisions. (Rest assured that I decide based on what I believe is right. I do not expect you to agree. Nor do I in any way think less of you for all our differences. I love you. I respect you. I hope that I am worthy of the sacrifices that you have made on some absolute metaphysical scale that neither of us may read.) I drink to my sister and my brother. They have weathered much. They have found good. They have pursued it. I am proud to be cut from the same cloth as they, and I pray that they may find all that they seek and more.

I drink to my friends. I drink to Ali and Pat. I drink to Sidhebaap and Chellery. I drink to both of the Rachels that I have known, and Debbie, and both Joes. (Both are dear to me. The UrQuan lord and the author equally.) I drink to Kelly Ludwig and Ryan Gozer and Jeff Cole. I drink to all my friends: new old and unmentioned. I have known many people over my life. Many good friends. I cannot hope to name them all here, but I drink to all of them as might hope to read this. I drink to a variety of Cats. I drink to an Elizabeth or two. I drink to all my lovers, past, present, and future. Elizabeth, Avril, Amy, George (girl George, you perverts), Tonya, and indeed Kelly, whom I have mentioned before, and should mention again so often as I have breath.

Indeed, I drink to all the living. No, we are no more worthy than the dead. I would drink equally to Kenneth and Jane, to Elizabeth Parsons and to Vernon, George, Ellah, Raymond, Esther, Fred, and all that have gone before. I would drink to all my dead friends and forbears. But we the living poses one special trait that the dead no longer share. We can appreciate the love of our fellows. We can feel the lack of those whom we miss. I drink to my honored dead, yes, but I drink also to the living. Let me not wait until you are dead to tell you how much you mean to me. Let me tell you now. You are wonderful and special. All of you. You Zenkas and Cats that I know only by virtue of mail, and you Michaels and Christels that I know in person, but have not thanked nearly often enough. I drink to you. The wonderful people in my life. And if by misdeed or mischance I have left you worthies that might see this out of the list of accolades, know that I would have included you were I better than a flawed man. I drink to all the living that have affected me. All that have shaped me and helped me. I drink to you in the name and memory of my honored dead, but also in your own names and honors, as you have honor and your memory is cherished. I fight that it may not erode so long as I live. Thank you.

11:05am: Happy Birthday to a very lucky cat.
Happy birthday Ms. darkdanc3r. And of course feel better soon.

5:24pm: New Works
Cross posted to Composer's Forum.

For those who don't subscribe to said, it's ( behind the cut )

9:21pm: Score!
Or why it's nice to sell something:

You can now buy some of my piano music on the shelf at the Music Suite in Columbia MO. If you happen to be local, and have some crazy desire to purchase a published (well, self published, anyway) copy of one of my scores, please feel free to drop in. If you're not local but you still want to buy something, you could call them at 573-442-3040 or you could purchase from me directly. Would that they had a website, but alas they do not. Anyway, this excites me. It's a small step, but it moves me slowly in the right direction. And of course, my best to all.

Sincerely,
David Ackerman

9:52pm: New Works
I have several new pieces worth hearing. All are piano works. Most are short. All can be found on my spiffy new updated page. (Actually, this is the front page, but what’s a shortcut between friends?)

The first is another little vaguely French confection. The toccata is probably the best piece in the lot. Has a decent fugue imbedded in it. Must say I’m fairly pleased with that. I would have posted it long ago, but I was planning on making a complete suite, and I got stuck on the sarabande, and have since gotten distracted. I’ll get back to it later.

As always, your thoughts are most welcome. In this case, I’ll even take review of the web page redesign. It’s quite a bit more graphics intensive now, so I apologize in advance to those of you with dial-up. I’m toying with ways to make it a bit more dial-up friendly. The redesign is still to some extent in development, but the old page was so unattractive that I felt it best to go ahead and throw the new one up, even if it isn’t quite finished.

Thank you in advance. Best wishes to all.

Sincerely,
David Ackerman

6:58pm: Two in one for December
Well, I should by all rights have posted about this last month, but the concert came and went. It wasn't perfect, but all considered, it wasn't too bad. No catastrophic failures, though it was a near thing. There's a rapid-fire brass dialog that opens the third movement. Certain entrances were missed. Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal, but several of the entrances are absolutely unaccompanied, so when they didn't happen we ended up with an impromptu hole in the piece. This could have been a disaster, as subsequent entrances were very shaky for several seconds thereafter and I was briefly unsure I'd be able to get the orchestra moving without stopping and restarting, being but an inexperienced conductor, but thankfully the trumpets and bassoons came in cleanly on cue and everybody else followed along pretty neatly thereafter. Phheww. Anyway, I haven't a recording yet, though I will post a link as soon as I get one.

In other news, the semester is essentially over, and I believe my students learned. I think I passed my first assignment as a professor. (Well, adjunct instructor, technically, but the students don't seem to notice the difference.) My chair seems satisfied, so I can't complain to much. They asked me back for the next semester and gave me a bigger course load, so I suspect they are pleased. The academic dean seemed please when I responded affirmatively to his query about whether I would return. I is a teacher! How strange. Still can't spell worth a darn, to which Kethlenda can attest.

2:09am: Ongoing drama of rehearsing an orchestra
Well, we're a few weeks into rehearsals on the symphony now. Still rough. Most of the winds are only now arriving. And I'd swear the strings slid backwords a bit. Trommelfeur commented that she recalled that the second or third rehearsal always seemed worse than the first, as energy had flagged. Hadn't thought about that, but that seems correct. Still, it's fun even making the attempt. I believe that some of the musicians may be beginning to enjoy it. I only hope i'm up to the task of leading them out of the woods. November 5th, ladies and gentlemen, and we will find out.

Sincerely,
David Ackerman

9:36pm: Upcoming Performance
On Sunday November 5th 2006 the Marshall Philharmonic orchestra will perform a concert program that will include my second symphony. The music director, Charles Ferguson, will conduct Mozart's Horn Concerto no. 3 in E-flat Major and I believe the last two movements of Debussy's Nocturnes for orchestra. I shall conduct the symphony. The concert is free, and all are welcome. It will begin at 2:30 pm in the Bueker Middle School Auditorium, which is on Business 65 (Odell) a few blocks north of College. If you would like any further information, please feel free to inquire. I can be e-mailed most easily at <david_ackerman@yahoo.com>.

Sincerely,
D. Ackerman

1:02am: "Der Titan" by Gustav Mahler
Here follows a review of a piece of music. I am amused, and I am writing in an intentionally archaic style. My emotions regarding the piece are genuine. But you gentle reader may find the whole process tiresome. Be warned.

( Hearing with New Ears )

12:42pm: A new piece
On the recommendation of the trumpet professor at my dear alma mater, the University of Missouri at Columbia, I wrote what I hope is a simple work for four trumpets. He commented that he could use relatively easy works for four or more trumpets, so I wrote him a short fanfare and fugue in C. I've officially left the choice of instrument to the performers, but I suspect that three trumpets in B-flat and one piccolo trumpet in B-flat would be the way to go. (One could almost play it on four B-flat trumpets, but the first trumpet would be murderously high, and quite difficult, indeed extending a bit beyond the recommended concert tesiotura.) Hopefully, I can get a recording of this in the fall, but in the mean time, a finale mp3 version can be heard here. The score can be downloaded here. Since I've at long last completed the degree I've been seeking here, I've changed the address to my page. The main page is now located at this address. As always, I hope that you enjoy the piece. Your thoughts and comments would of course be welcome.

Sincerely,
David Ackerman

8:41pm: News and such
Well, it begins to seem almost inevitable. I will graduate. There remains but one modest hurdle, and I am confident that with sufficient preparation it too can be vaulted. So, with luck, I will graduate in a couple of weeks. With less luck, I should still graduate by fall. (But I very much doubt it will come to that.) In other news, I have posted three new pieces on my website. They are a fugue for organ in c minor, and three fanfares, two for a pair of trumpets and the last for two trombones. If you feel so compelled, I invite you to listen to them, and I always appreciate comments.

Sincerely,
David Ackerman

7:22pm: Right, as per lilahthedragon . . .
Well, I've done it. I've answered one of those livejournal sorts of thingies.

( Quizz results cut to spare the uninterested. )

12:19pm: New work, and a few older ones newly on the web
I have recently finished an orchestral fantasy entitled Alien Landscapes. I have the piece on my website here. You can listen to it as an mp3 and download the score as a pdf.

Further, I have added a few pieces from an early book of piano works which you can see here.

Lastly, I have uploaded the score to the second symphony, so if you like you can now follow the score while listening to the piece. That page is here.

Alien Landscapes is a bit of an experiment for me, as I try to step further away from conventional V-I tonality than I have previously, while hopefully still retaining enough structural and motivic information that the piece can be easily understood and enjoyed by the layman. (It is my great aspiration to write widely approachable music that is nevertheless interesting to a narrower more trained audience as well. We'll see if this can be done.) I would be quite interested in hearing your comments.

As to the other stuff, I posted about the symphony a while back, but I would love to hear what you have to say. Maybe the presence of the score will be the extra incentive that elicits a bit of feedback. The piano pieces are older, but I hope that you might enjoy them anyway. (I still have a great deal of fun reading through the Rondo and the Fugue.)

Sincerely,
David

(cross posted to "composers forum")

9:03pm: Well, the newest piece, Alien Landscapes, is coming along apace. Rather predictably my professor seemed to prefer it to more or less anything else I've written lately. But I like it in spite of all that. It's sort of odd that I feel that it sounds good even though it might please the ivory tower sorts, and not because of it. I did, after all, set out to please the IT types with this piece. I just also perniciously hope that other people will like it. The divide separating the "Haute Musique" types and the vulgar/common/populars amuses me. I don't wish to settle firmly on any side of that particular mountain, but the view is better from the top. I get to see both valleys, and not just one. (And all the other little alcoves in between.) Viva Stravinsky! (Wait, he's dead!) But he never fell for that crap, so viva the dead guy anyway.

Incidentally, the piece can be seen here.

It is not yet complete, but the first two movements are available in pretty finished form. The third should follow soon.

7:18pm: I've finished a cleaner draft of the new symphony, and it's up on the website as No. 2 in c-sharp. Got some work done on a score for a radio drama about a vietnam vet trying to put his life back together, called End of the Road.

7:28pm: Finished the draft of Symphony in c-sharp. (Symphony No. 2 for those who are counting. I renumbered "War" Symphony No. 1, and Retitled Chamber Symphony "Four Sketches," if you missed that. (That was the original working title anyway.) I'm quite pleased with how it's come out. I'll try and make it available on line as soon as I'm done editing it.

3:36pm: And now I have my very own stick.
It's quite similar to Trommelfeuer's, but the handle is a reddish wood called "purpleheart" rather than the darker Walnuttier handle of hers. (I love Walnut, but they didn't have any when I went to buy mine, and the Purpleheart is pretty too. I ought to make one one of these days.) In other new the new Symphony is progressing apace. I have officially begun renumbering. What had been the first or chamber symphony has been demoted to "Four Sketches" which was the working title anyway. "War" becomes symphony No. 1. And the piece that I am writing presently, loosely based on "Four Sketches," will be Symphony No. 2 in c-sharp minor. The allegro, adagio, and scherzo are complete, but for some bowings and articulations, and of course the inevitable revisions. The finale is under way. Shouldn't take long at this point. Another couple of weeks should see a finished first draft. Trommelfeuer commented a few weeks back (when only the initial allegro was complete) that this is the first of my scores that she would not hesitate to purchase. (She might of course if I charged Sikorsky like prices. But I'm more of a Dover Thrift kind of a man myself.) When said piece is finished, rest assured that I shall make a version of it available for public consumption.

Sincerely,
David Ackerman

3:10pm: Waving sharp sticks about
My friend Trommelfeuer has loaned me her baton, and I find myself increasingly addicted to the silly thing. Always thought batons were kind of pretentious, but darn it if it isn't great fun to wave it about and imagine I'm conducting a fantastic orchestra through the fight in the Troll King's lair. And the Troll King's magic. Well, all of the Faerie Flute is great fun to imagine conducting really. It's kind of over the top, and darn it if that isn't fun.

10:55pm: Still music
I've been relatively good, and fairly productive, in a recycling old stuff sort of way. I have much more of my output on the web now. Not all, certainly, or even most. Some of you will note some significant absences. But almost all the most recent stuff is now available for your perusal here. Enjoy!

Sincerely,
David Ackerman

2:42pm: More music online
Well, I've done it. I've gone and created a home page, where I have a limited amount of my work available for anyone to enjoy. (I hope.) You can find me at my page. Yep, I'm taking advantage of my school's site. At present you will find two short and rather stylized organ pieces, and two more short modernesque piano pieces. I'd love to put some of my orchestral work up, but I'll have to find space first, so for now I hope you like keyboard music.

Sincerely,
David Ackerman

12:31pm: Strength in adversity
You know, it's good to have the support of thost that love you in your time of need. My deepest thanks to Kethlenda, the omnipresent strength in my life. She sticks up for me when no one else does, and I want the world, or at lest the tiny chunk of the world likely to read this, to know that. Thank you dear. I love you. You rock.

Sincerely,
David

3:28pm: Bride of the Monster
A friend of mine recently invited me to write a score for a radio theatre company with which he is involved. I won't say that this is in any way groundbreaking work, but it was a useful exercise. And heck, it was kind of fun.

(Okay, the company is called Schlock Audio Theatre, and the music attempts to reflect its given comedic purpose, mocking bad movies, but if I can't poke a bit of fun at a few overdone musical conventions, while striving always to write something good, well, what can I do?) The performer is just a computer running finale, but hey, the sound fonts are pretty good these days.

There's even a trailer at <http://www.schlockaudio.com/> along with a few hints of earlier and other creation cast up on the shore.

The whole thing should show up at the same site in a few weeks. And it was writing a prescribed amount of music for a scenario not my own on a deadline, which is good practice, right?